5 Books Addressing Trust Issues in Relationships

Though Some Kind of Wonderful's spoiled rich kid villain Hardy Jenns was a colossal douche, he did have one thing right.

We'll forget that the context of when he said that was in trying to convince Amanda Jones that she didn't just see him kissing another girl. He was lying to her, but there is truth in the premise he was using to make his case.

Trust is that fragile thread of connection weaving through every relationship. When it's strong and unbroken, it holds everything together. When it's weak or fraying, it can unravel it completely.

If you’ve ever found yourself tangled in doubts, wondering if you can truly believe in someone (again or for the first time), you’re not alone. Trust issues can sneak in quietly over time with small heartbreaks over unexpected harsh treatment during vulernable moments, or it crash through like a wrecking ball perhaps with a revelation of infidelity, that leaves us questioning everything we thought we knew.

Thankfully, there are relationship experts who have written books addressing everything you need to know about trust, from how to build it to what it looks like to repair it. If you're running into issues in your relationship that are rooted in trust having been damaged or broken entirely, there are resources that can help you sort through those murky feelings, offering insights, comfort, and sometimes, a roadmap out of the fog.

Whether you’re dealing with past betrayals, struggling to open up, or just curious about the emotional rollercoaster trust can be, these non-fiction books by well-reknowned relationship experts might just be the companions you need.

Why Books on Trust Issues Can Help

Trust isn’t just about catching someone in a lie or forgiving a mistake. It’s about vulnerability, history, and sometimes, the ghosts we carry from previous relationships. When trust breaks, it’s not just the other person who’s affected by our reactions; it’s our sense of safety, our self-esteem, and our ability to connect.

Books that tackle trust issues do more than tell stories of others who have faced the same challenges and were able to move past them. They:

• Validate your feelings - You’re not “too sensitive” or “overthinking;” others have been there too.

• Offer perspectives - Sometimes seeing a situation through someone else's eyes helps us understand our own situations better.

• Provide tools - From communication tips to self-reflection exercises, some books are practically therapy in print.

• Inspire hope - Trust can be rebuilt over time, and relationships can grow stronger.

  
  

The reason why I write fiction novels where struggling to trust is a central theme is because it's something everyone experiences at some point in their lives.

I know when I read books where I feel seen and understood, it's like having a friend whisper, “You’re going to be okay.” That's part of my goal with these books documenting Autumn MacLeod's journey, and why Gen X is my target audience; there are few generational cohorts who struggle to trust as much as we do.

My Top Picks for Books on Trust Issues: Fiction & Non-Fiction

These books are my top choices for not only helping you feel seen and understood, but they also offer practical advice on how to move forward in repairing what's broken.

1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

This one’s a classic, and for good reason. I picked up my copy of it about 10 years ago when attending a two-day Gottman Institute couples workshop with my husband in Seattle. Gottman’s research-based approach breaks down how trust is built and maintained in long-term relationships. Using examples from case studies collected via his "Love Lab," he cites the specific behaviors that both build and break trust. It’s practical, accessible, and filled with scientifically-proven research. If you want to understand the mechanics behind trust and how to repair it, this book is a must.

2. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Ever wondered why you or your partner react a certain way when trust feels shaky? This book dives into attachment styles and how they influence trust and intimacy. It’s eye-opening and helps you see patterns you might not have noticed before.

3. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Vulnerability is the heart of trust, and Brené Brown’s work is all about embracing it. This book encourages you to lean into discomfort and be brave enough to trust, even when it feels risky. One of the things that make this one stand out is that the storytelling is warm and relatable.

4. Trust by Hernán Díaz

If you prefer fiction, this novel is a fascinating exploration of trust, power, and perception. It weaves multiple narratives that challenge what we believe about truth and relationships. It’s a bit of a mind-bender but worth the read.

5. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

Focused on emotional connection, this book offers a roadmap for couples to rebuild trust through understanding and empathy. It’s grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy and provides exercises to strengthen bonds. Dr. Gottman cites Dr. Johnson as having inspired his own work, so this is absolutely worth reading.

These books aren’t just for couples. They’re for anyone who’s ever felt the sting of broken trust or the fear of opening up again.

How to Use These Books to Heal and Grow

Reading about trust issues is one thing, but applying what you learn is where the rubber meets the road. Here are some tips on making the most of these reads:

• Reflect as you read - Keep a journal to write down moments that resonate or questions that pop up.

• Discuss with your partner or a friend - Sometimes talking through insights and sharing how you feel about what you're learning can deepen understanding.

• Try the exercises - Many of these books include practical activities to practice what you learn. If you feel you're ready and it's safe for you to explore them together, do.

• Be patient with yourself - Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight. It’s okay to take small steps.

• Seek professional help if needed - Books are great, but sometimes a therapist’s guidance is invaluable, especially if you feel as though everything devolves into a defensive argument and a mediator would be helpful.

  
  

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress.

Embracing the Journey: Trust Is Possible

Building and maintaining trust is messy, complicated, and sometimes downright frustrating, but it’s also one of the most rewarding parts of human connection. These books on trust issues don’t promise a quick fix, but they do offer something better: understanding, empathy, and hope.

So, whether you’re curled up with a nostalgic coming-of-age story about a girl learning how to trust both herself and others, or diving into a non-fiction self-help guide, remember that every page turned is a step toward healing. Trust can be rebuilt, and relationships can flourish - sometimes in the most unexpected ways.

If you ever feel stuck, just remember: even the most tangled knots can be untied with patience, care, and a little bit of courage. Happy reading!