Chapter 9 | "Voices Carry" by 'Til Tuesday

Who doesn't love 80s music? As a proud member of the MTV generation, I definitely do. The original choice for this chapter's song was Frida's "I Know There's Something Going On," but when I took a step back and thought about what's happening in this chapter and what the overall impact was on Autumn, the focus is less about her detecting a growing rift in her relationship with Rob and more about why it was there.

SPOILERS AHEAD (if you haven't read The Strangest of Places yet, ye be warned): Past experiences absolutely inform your present reality, and Autumn is very much a product of her environment. That being the case, one of her major triggers was formed by her father's intentional abandonment, her mother's unintentional abandonment and neglect, and both of those experiences were reinforced by her best friend choosing the mean girls over her in middle school. When Rob makes it clear that he's ashamed to be seen with her, that can't mean anything but the end of their relationship.

We are who we are not only because of an unpredictable mix of genetics, but because of what we learn through each new experience. In psychology, they refer to this as "nature vs. nurture." Sometimes, those experiences can help you make sense of the world and determine potential outcomes from familiar scenarios. Sometimes, they can work against you, coloring your perceptions in ways that can influence your decisions.

In Autumn's case, though she struggles with self-esteem and self-confidence, she at least does have enough of both to know when to walk away from someone who doesn't appreciate her.

You can't force people to love or respect you. All you can do is be yourself and rest assured knowing that anyone who doesn't recognize all of your wonderful qualities probably isn't worthy of them.

Hold out for the ones who see you and love you just the way you are.

Joshua Bell is one of the world's greatest violinists. His instrument of choice is a multimillion-dollar Stradivarius. If he played it for spare change, incognito, outside a bustling Metro stop in Washington D.C., would anyone notice? Read the full story in The Washington Post: http://wpo.st/-vP