Chapter 9 | "Voices Carry" by 'Til Tuesday

When I tell him that I'm falling in love

Why does he say

Hush hush, keep it down now

Voices carry

Being in a more affluent neighborhood than the low-income projects where Mom and I spent my childhood, my grandmother got cable TV at her house first. Like electricity and, later, the internet, the latest and greatest in technological advancements didn’t simply poof into existence overnight. It was a long, slow, gradual spread across the urban landscape as crews of blue collar tradesmen did the boots-on-the-ground work that put the infrastructure in place to make premium, ad-free television a reality for those who had the means to get it.

My first discovery on the cable TV I saw at my grandmother’s house was Nickelodeon’s “Pinwheel,” a children’s show modeled after Sesame Street. By the time I had turned seven, cable had made its way to our apartment and shortly thereafter, I discovered MTV. That became our new default setting; if we weren’t watching a movie or a TV show, I immediately switched the channel to MTV.

By the time I was 10 (1985), MTV had become my go-to source for new music. When I first started watching it, radio was still the most reliable source for what was brand new. New music video debuts typically lagged behind the radio release, or never showed up on MTV at all. It wasn't long before that changed. In 1985, if it was new, it showed up on MTV the same time it debuted on the radio.

MTV was where I first saw and heard ‘Til Tuesday’s “Voices Carry.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uejh-bHa4To

Autumn's Playlist: When Being Loved Means Staying Hidden

In Chapter 9, Autumn confronts a pattern that defined the toxic relationship she had with her “friends” in middle school: being good enough one-on-one, but persona non grata when others were present. This time, the context isn’t a gaggle of vicious mean girls, it’s her first boyfriend, Rob.

Similar to other posts in this series, names have been changed to protect the guilty. The scenario that plays out between Autumn and Rob in her memories, as described in this chapter, was also inspired by real-life events. That’s why I knew this song was the perfect fit.

"Voices Carry" captures that particular cruelty of being kept like a shameful secret. It's not just the rejection alone—it's being valued only when no one's watching. It's the shame of realizing you've accepted less than you deserve because you believed it was all you were likely to get…at least from that person.

Wounds that come from being used, betrayed, and deceived don't heal quickly, if at all. When you've learned to expect disrespect like that as a pattern, trust is hard-won—even when someone new enters your life who might actually see you differently.

When You Were Someone's Secret

Maybe you know how it feels to be good enough behind closed doors but an embarrassment in public. Maybe you've been told to keep quiet, to not make waves, to accept being hidden because at least it meant you weren't alone.

When you read Chapter 9 and listen to "Voices Carry," you might remember your own moment of realizing that being loved shouldn't require silence, obfuscation, or a demand to make yourself smaller.

It should never come with the condition that no one else can know.

You deserve to be claimed openly, not kept quietly. Don't let anyone tell you (or treat you) differently.