Maude is My Spirit Animal

Massachusetts has no shortage of favorite daughters and sons. If we set aside the obvious glut of historical figures and focus on the most recent few decades of pop culture, there's the Wahlbergs, the Afflecks, Matt Damon, Conan O'Brien, Uma Thurman, Amy Poehler, Jennifer Coolidge, Mindy Kaling...but there's one actress who pre-dates all of them, yet she's the one that immediately comes to mind whenever I think about this topic: Ruth Gordon (and not just because we're both from Quincy).

When my husband and I first started dating--and I mean first, like, within the first two or three weeks--he asked me if I had ever seen the movie Harold & Maude. I was familiar with the title, having repeatedly passed over it for a newer release over the years. I admitted to him that I had not seen it, but I had heard of it. He immediately grabbed his keys and took my hand, dragging me out to the car so we could stop by Blockbuster to rent it.

On the way, he explained that this was a phenomenal movie, and he's so excited to introduce me to it. He warned me that there is a scene in it where you have to pay very close attention, because there's a particular camera angle that only lasts a few seconds, but it changes everything you think you know up to that point. He wouldn't say anything more, but promised that he would alert me to the scene so I'd know when to be on the look out for whatever this camera angle would reveal.

I was curious what it was about this movie that had him so excited to show it to me. At the start, it was macabre, then amusingly offbeat and quirky as Harold crossed paths with Maude. I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but suffice it to say that when the important scene arrived, I paid very close attention to see what this camera angle would reveal.

To this day, I can still remember the absolute tidal wave of emotion that crashed over me when I saw it. My throat closed and my eyes filled up immediately; they're watering even now, at the mere memory of having registered the full gravity of that scene and what it meant. I won't tell you what the camera angle revealed, but I will say that if you've seen the movie and don't know what I'm talking about, re-watch it and pay very close attention during the scene where Harold and Maude are sitting by the water, watching the seagulls.

Suffice it to say that Maude is the main reason why the tagline on The Strangest of Places is "You find what you look for." In terms of neuroscience, your brain notices what you focus on. When you're looking for reasons to hate your spouse, or your job, or your lot in life, you're going to find them; you're literally training your brain to find more problems. Conversely, when you make the conscious choice to focus on the things in life that bring you joy, that make you feel lucky, loved, grateful, etc., you'll find more reasons to feel that way too.

I don't want to give anything away about the movie, or about my book, but if this concept interests you, I highly recommend giving it a try.